秘密結社 鷹の爪 THE MOVIE II ～私を愛した黒烏龍茶～
9月6日（土）公開初日FROGMAN舞台挨拶決定！
監督、脚本、キャラクターデザイン、声優をこなすマルチクリエイタ―FROGMANが
やってくる！
＜作品紹介＞
少人数で驚くべきスピードとクオリティの作品を作り出す革新的制作集団「蛙男商会」 のFROGMANによる、インターネット、深夜テレビで大人気を博したFlashアニメの映画化第2弾。サイバースペースを舞台に、企業買収をめぐって秘密結社鷹の爪団と謎の人物が対決する。鷹の爪団のキャラクターたちによるブラック＆ナンセンスな笑いに、野沢雅子、銀河万丈、滝口順平ら豪華声優陣の参加、そして観客参加型の仕掛けと、お楽しみ要素が満載だ！
＜info＞
劇場：TOHOシネマズトリアス久山（福岡県糟屋郡久山町大字山田1044-2）
日時：9月6日(土)10：40～の上映回（上映終了後）／13:40～の上映回（上映前）
問合せ：TOHOシネマズトリアス久山（092-957-5555）
（C)「秘密結社 鷹の爪 THE MOVIE Ⅱ」製作委員会
pjgbozobonuapiwiekdz, yroljafypy
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Hello! ffkbeeb interesting ffkbeeb site!
Very nice site! cheap viagra
Very nice site!
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Hello!
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
Hello!
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Hello!
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Hello!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
.,
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Aloha!jpkm! http://flobmm.com onfuf dtyev
[URL=http://ynktma.com]ibukh phnim[/URL]
Aloha! http://hfcivy.com udray nlvew
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Hello!
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Hello!
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Hello!
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Hello!
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Hello!
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Hello!
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Hello!
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Hello!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Hello!
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Hello!
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Hello!
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Hello!
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Hello!
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Hello!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Hello!
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Hello!
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Hello!
Hello!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Hello!
Hello!
Hi there, what's up you guys???
Hello!
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Hi there, what's up you guys???
Hello!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Hello!
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
Hello!
Hi there, what's up you guys???
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Hello!
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Hello!
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Hello!
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Hello!
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Hello!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Hello!
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Youtube has grow such an quarrelsome situation right of spam and unaccommodating sprirted commenting on little short of any video put there – that I concoct you would be greater served to attend to your substantive off of youtube until they learn to coordinate or observe the use of comments and profanity. You could wholly tummler the videos on amazon s3 and out them from any locale you choose.
Regards, Anna Mcinturff
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Hello!
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Hello!
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Hello!
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Hello!
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Hello!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Hello!
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Hello!
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Hello!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
Hello!
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
HjcGgyh
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you